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Rockford, Illinois
May 18, 1961     The Observer
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May 18, 1961

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FRIDAY, MAY 19, 1961 FAMILY CLINIC Seeks F "ends; usy BY FATHER 3OHN L. THOMAS, S, $, Assistant Professor of Sociology At St. Louis University Our marriage is going on the rocks fast! We've been married eight years and have four children. My husband never takes me any place yet resents my going without him. He's never home nights because he belongs to so many organizations and iS trying to get into others. During my last pregnancy he was unfaithful and afterwards told our pastor that he was disgust- ed with me because I hold him back. All I ask is a little com- panionship for myself and the children. Is that so wrong? The essential purposes of marriage haven't changed since God founded it, Edith, and on that basis you are right in seek- ing companionship. In the scriptural account of the first mar- riage, we read that "It is not good for man to be alone," and when God had ckeated the first woman and brought her to Adam, "Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one fle5h." Following the same line of thought, the famous Catechism of the Council of Trent explained the reasons for marriage: "he first is precisely the companionship sought by the natural of different sex. and brought about in the hope of mutual aid. so that each may help the other to bear more easily the troubles of life. and to support the weakness of old age. The second is the desire of having children." THE GENERAL PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE are clear enough. Edith. yet down through the ages men and women have read their own meanings into them. Ideal companionship between husband and wife has been differently defined even in various Christian societies, while the degree of companion- ship actually achieved in any society tends to differ from couple to couple, ~or companionship requires an ability ,m communi- cate. to work. live. and play together that is not shared equal- ly by all members of society. IT IS CLEAR FROM YOUR LETTER that you and your hus- band did not enter marriage with the same definition of com- panionship or, for that minter, of marriage. Hc obviously feels that you should be content to stay home and take care of the children, while he remains free to lead his own life as he pleases. In his definition, thi5 is a man's world -- women are necessary as wives and mothers, but not as companions: chil- dren are accepted 'as the natural result of marriage, though their training and discipline are up to the mother --- the father has done his job if he supports them. WITH THIS DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE in mind. he is bound to reject your demands for companionship and coopera- tion in rinsing the children. He will also resent your attempts to seek some social life outside the home. for this show of independence on your part challenges his conception of him- self as absolute head of the family. In other words, he judges your actions by a different standard from his own. He is to be free to do what he likes, because he is a man: you are to 'do what pleases him, because you are a wife -- and a woman. I THINK IT IS VERY NECESSARY to recognize the real root of your problems -- his definition of what marrmge in- volves for you and himself. The situation will not change for the better unless he revises his definition of roles. As you mentioned, when you went to your pastor for counseling, he made you do all the talking, he admitted no mistakes, he agreed to everything the pastor Said. and then returned to make your life "a living hell." Isn't it clear that the pastor's wise counsel went unheeded because your husband simply did not accept his definition of the situation? Your husband was on the spot, since he was caught in infidelity, sd without admitHng any other mistakes, he went through the routine of counseling to patch things up. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Well. Edith, the first step will be to accept the fact that you married a man who evidently doesn't even understand what you mean by companionship and co- operation in raising children Until he changes his definition of his role in marriage, all your pleas will not only go unheedec will continue to irritate him. ~SECOND. SINCE HE REFUSES to share any entertainment social life with you, you should seek some appropriate social outlets either through relatives and friends or in church, school. and community organizations. This will no~ be too easy with small children, yet it can be managed, as you indicated, pro- vided you are not afraid of his resentment. He has no right to put on a scene, since he refuses to be a normal husband. THE OBSERVER PAGE 11 :!:!:},!!::~i:::i ~.~:i : !i,:::! ~i:~:~i: it:i: :;!i:ii: ~i~!!~ !i i:): :ii-:: ~ii: :i:i: :~!!: :ii.ili:i:::i~:~ i .::< ::; i -: i)ii:!i~ ClaSsified Advertising ; ~!iiiii~: iiii~:!!;!ii!~:iiiiiiii !:::?.ili::! :i :i:i! ::.:!::;i!'::[i!i :.:: !:; i:::: ::~:: | MAY DAY MASS--A May Day evening Pontifical Low Mass was offered hy the Most Rev, Loras T. Lane May 1 in St. James Pro-Cathedral. Rockford. Members of the Catholic Woman's league attended together. In the picture above Bishop Lane, followed by the Rt. Roy. Msgr. William T, Mr- e WBBM, Channel 2, Chicago Saturday, May 20 ,t:30 The Early Show "Two Smart People" A-II 10:tS The Sest of CBS "l Was a Male Wet aride" Sunday, May 21 12:00 Picture For a Sunday Afternoon "The ACCUSed" A-ll 1":30 Picture For a Sunday Afternoon " Love You Again" A-I 10;15 The Late ShOW "Golden Earrings" B 12:30 The Late. Late Show "A Letter for Evie" A-II Mondty, May 22 4:30 The Ear, v Show "The Texans" A-I 10:t3 The Late Show "Johnny O'Clock" A-II Tuesday, May 23 4:30 The Early Show "Atlantic Convoy" A-I 10:15 The Late Show "ROgues of Sher- wooo Forest" A-I 12:30 The Late Show "The Clock" A-II Wednesday, May 24 4:30 The Early Show "Glamour Boy" A-I 10:15 The Late Show "Reunion in France" A-II 12:30 The Late, Late Show "Joe end Ethel Turp Call on the President" A-II Thursday, May 25 4:30 The EarLy Show "The Glass Key" A-II 10:15 The Late Show "Road tO Singe. 00re" S 12:30 The Late, Late Show "Blackmail" A-It Friday, May 26 ~:30 The EarLy Show "Skylark" A-II 10:15 The Late Show "Above Us the Waves" A-I 12:30 The Late. Late Show "Unholy Partners" B WISC, Channel 3, Madison Saturday. May 20 10:30 Theater Three "The Mark of Zorro" A-II Sunday, May 21 10:00 THE CHRISTOPHERS 10:35 Theater Three "Niglltrnare Atley" B Tuesday, May 23 ]0:3~ Theater Three "He Hireo tl~e Boss" A-I Wednesday, May 24 t0:30 Theater Three "Diamond Frontier" A-II Thursday, May 25 10:30 Theater Three "Half Angel" A-I Friday, May 26 10:30 Theater Three "Invaders from Mars" A" WNBQ, Channel 5, Chicago Sunday, May 21 9:00 RELIGION IN LIFE THIRD, YOU WILL HAVE THE COURAGE and moral 12:30THE CATHOLIC HOUR strength to do this only if you rethink your own position. If 1:00 Channel S Playnouse "Face to Face" B you feel guilty or uncertain about what you are doing, you'll t2:50 RELIGION In LIFE Monday, May 22 fold up at his reaction. Convince yourself that you must start l:00 Movie 5 "Foreign Intrigue" A-II Tuesday, May 23 to build up a more independent outlook and life of your own. 4:00 Movie 5 "The Gay Adventure" A-I This not not ideal, but in your situation you have no other Thursday, May 25 choice, since you will deteriorate as a person if you have no 4:00 Mov~e 5 "Rock, Rock, Rock" A-I Friday, May 26 social outlets or opportunities for adult companionship. 4:00 Movie S "Sword of Venus" A-If YOUR HUSBAND WON'T LIKE IT, 'of course, but he may WOC, Channel 6, Davenport Saturday, May 20 catch on eventually. He may even learn that marriage involves 10:$0 Premiere Pertormance "The Crim- mutual obligations, so~ Pirate" A-I Sunday, May 21 (Father Thomas witl be unable to avswer any personal letters.) 12:30 FRONTIERS OF FAITH 11:1S Premiere Performance "A Guy Sunday. May 21 11:00 La}e Show "Fingers el the Window" A-I Monday, May 22 12:20 Early Show "Nightmare" A-It 10:15 La'te Straw "Stranoe Cargo" A-II Tuesday, May 23 12:20 Early Show "Happy Go Lovely'S A-II 10:15 Late Show "FLight for Freedom" S Wedneeday, May 24 t2:20 Early Snow "Her Cardboard Lover" B 10:15 Lele Show "Woman of the Year" A-II Thursday, May 25 t2:20 Early Snow "the Went te the Races" A-I Friday, May 26 12:20 Early Show "Maid of Salem" A-ll WISN, Channel 12, Milwaukee Sunday, May 21 8:4,5 KNOW THE TRUTH 10:4S The Big Movie"Adventures of Mark Twain" A-I Monday, May 22 10:45 The Big Movie "Soellbound" A-II Wednesday, May 24 10:45 The Big Movie "Whirloool" C Friday, May 26 10:4S The Big Movie "Invisible AgenT" A-II WREX, Channel 13, Rockford Saturday, May 20 ! 10:15 Crown Theater "Command De- cision" A-I 11:35 Paiama Playhouse "Stand By for Action" A-II Sunday, May 21 10:15 SACRED HEART PROGRAM 11:30 Sunday Show "Honolulu" A-II Tuesday, May 23 11:30 Tuesday Theater "On An Island With You" A.1 Wednesday, May 24 11:30 Academy Theater "Sinner Take All" A-I Friday, May 26 11:00 Playhouse "Let Freedom Ring" A-I 12:40 Paiama Playhouse "Yellow Jack" A-I WKOW, Chanfiel 27, Madison Saturday. May 20 1:05 Matinee Playhouse "The Saxon Charm" a lO:O0 Fanfare "They Were Expendable" A-I Sunday, May 21 11:00 Sunday Movie "Lone Wolf Keeps A Date" A- 1:30 Fanfare "They Were Expendable" A-I Monday, May 22 10:30 THE CHRISTOPHERS 10:25 The Late Show "Perilous HoUd&y'# A-It Tuesday, May 23 10:25 The Late Show "Johnny Holiday'S A-I Wednesday, May 24 10:25 The Late Show "Fear" A-II Make Profession ROCKFORD -- Novices will be professed in the Third Order of St. Francis Sunday, May 21, at St. Anthony church following an afternoon of recollection which will begin ai 2 p.m. Bene- diction of the Most Blessed Sac- Millan, is about to distribute Holy Communion. It is the first time an evening May Day Mass was Offered in the diocese, and its purpose was to remind Catholics in a special way that they must combat Communism with prayer. ; T "11/!1" SacredHeart Tlovles Program on TV Thursday, May 25 I 10:25 The Late Show "First Comes J In the Sacred Heart nro=ram Cauege" B,v Friday. May 36 to be telecast Sunday, May 21 at 0 25 The Late Show "The Southerner" 10'15 a m over WREX Chan- Ad " " " ]nel 13, the Rev. Charles F. X. WMTV, Channel 33, Madison Sunday, Mey 21 Dolan. S.J will discuss the 12:30 FRONTIERS OF FAITH Queenship of Mary and trace the 5:00 BISHOP SHEEN dedication of our nation to Our WTVO, Channel 39, RockfordLady through the past century. This is the fifth program in the Sunday, May 21 12:30 FRONTIERS OF FAITH current Sacred Heart series, 10:30 Humphrey Feature Theater "'Lulla- by of Broadway" A-t "What Mary Means." TWO LOCATIONS MONROE, WIS. MOTORS INC. PLYMOUTH -- VALIANT -- CHRYSLER DODGE -- IMPERIAL -- DODGE TRUCKS -- SIMCA Our Reputation Is Your Guarantee Monroe's Finest Dining Room & Lounge Enjoy Dining Here! Now . . . MARCO'S is twice its former size and completely redecorated. Conveniently located in downtown Monroe. Ac- commodations for weddings and banquets, large or small. OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 11 A.M. to MIDNIGHT SATURDAY 11 A.M. to 1 A.M. SUPPER CLUB Featured Entertainment (Weekends Only) I PIANOS AND ORGANS I MONI TMENTS--- VAULTS Ne---V and ose-------T- ' P enos ,and Organs to ChooSe From I, ~u~=~a K ~, e, ~uj~ 330 N. Main St. Rockford, WO. 3-82~/ 114 S- PlrST bl "VVU. 4-4/41 JACKSON PIANO STORE J F--'~'D'E. O"OE'S~ " ~J~ Thlr l Ave. WO.S,7312 CATHOLIC SALVAGE Useo Clothing, Furniture, Dishes, Lamps end all household articles In the Rock. ford store, we have a new deoarTment dedicated to Re[igi0us articles. Prices to fit your immediate budget. Come in and browse around. 10t9 West State st Rock. ford. In Aurora, CaTholic Sa vega ie IO. cared at ~01 North Lake St NURSING HOME Excellent nursing home care. Approveo by Stele Department nt Public Health Bellevue Place, Waterman, IlL Phone 3. Open Rate--lOt a war(~---$4:4i per inch. Contracts, W-lnch. 13 Consecutive weeks, S1.96 weekly tar a total ot S25.48. COnTracts, I Inch. t3 consecutive weeks $3JB weekly tot a total et $49.14. It nays tO advertise! ~:~:~:~:~::~: !;i~!i~i~i~! ~ii~i!i~:~i~ii~i~-"~(:~i~ FOR SALE Chapel items for sale: 7 ft. Ig. alter, pews, statians, Communion Rail, Stained g ass windows (5). Reasonably priced, contact Sr. M. Frederica, St. Joseph hos- )ital, Belvidere, III. FUNERAL DIRECTORS WILBUR CHRISTENSON MORTUARY 1002 2na Ave. WO, 3-6S'21 FREEPORT . . . VOHLKEN Bros. Dairy ADams 3-2211 Freeport HULBURT'S CLEANERS "Your Clothing Problems Are Onr Business" 222 W, Stephensen St. ELGIN . . . Everything for the MOTORIST Dial SHerwood i-2577 ELGIN COAL and 01L 24 Kimball Street Elgin, Illinois FUNERAL HOME PARK LOVES PARK JEWELRY EIoin-HamiH'on-Bulovo Watches Rosaries Expert Watch & Clock Re~oiring 5426 N. Second St. PARKSIDE n FOOD MART MEATS---GROCERIES PRODUCE She~ in fhis Most Modern Complete Self-Service Store SS4S N. Second Loves Pork McHENRY H. E. BUCH & SONS Plumbing, Heafin~ Contractors Kitchen Aid Dishwashers Higthway 120 East Phone EV. 5-0048 McHenry, Illinois McHENRY J LUMBER COMPANY LUMBER AND FUEL Telephone Evergreen $-4600 611 Mein St McHenry, III. ROCKFORD . . . Everythin /or the O]]ic McFarland Office Equipment Co. FURNITURE FILING EQUIPMENT 227 So. Church Dial WO 3-0427 Rockford, I|linois ROCKFORD PRINTING & SUPPLY CO. 214 E. State St. Rockford CARPETS ~ BEDDING FURNITURE 218 SOUTH MAIN STREET ROCKFORD, ILLINOIS 364 ~vision~Elgin Dial SHerwood 1-1400 Thiel's Drug Store CLIFFORD THIEL, Pharmoci~ Expert Prescription 161 Dundee Diel SH 2-04112 ELGIN Blaisdell Street MEAT MARKET KENNETH J, KING, Proprietor Wholesole and Eet~il Meats 1352 Bloisdell St. Rockford DIAL WO 3-3313 LAMPS ELEVATOR Sales & Service William Lamps 3103 Wallin Rockford Dial WO 5-0626 MODERN DAIRY COMPANY, INC. Fine Dairy Product= Dial SH 1-2536 ELGIN J. W. SLEEPER Tax and Accounting Service GENERAL INSURANCE 324 E. Third St. Main $-2332 STERLING, ILLINOIS ' Wait.R0ss.Allans0n Named JOe" A-II EUNERAL SERV,CE co. S U L L I V A N' S Monday, May 22 rament will conclude the core- Presents Stamps to College 12:10Mo Matinee "Babes On Sraad- monies.