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Rockford, Illinois
February 24, 1961     The Observer
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February 24, 1961

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PAGE I0 FAMILY CLINIC !18 OJt 8 [ Only in :t BY FATHER JOHN L. THOMAS, S. J. Assistant Professor of Sociology at St. LouisUniversity it 0 " " o H w can you get a man to love and respect his family. Noth- ing I or our six children do is ever right. We dread feastdays and birthdays because he'll spoil them with a critical outburst. He keeps money thc children receive for gifts. The 13 and 15 year-old work after school and he wants them to pay board. The oldest is already self-supporting in clothes, tuition, dentist bills, etc. We're weary of being criticized and scolded. Yet he never misses Mass and always says his prayers. What can I do?" If you want a brutally fl'ank answer. Martha. the chances that your husband will change at this late stage are slim. Going to a competent counselor would "help, but fi'om what I know ot his type, he will never agree to seek +such assistance because he will never admit he needs it. One is never too old to learn, provided one wants to learn. But the saying, "You can't teach an Did dog new tricks." is generally true because it's hard to convince him that his old tricks aren't all right, THE REAL PROBLEM your letter describes is the tragic ~eparation or divorce between your husband's religious beliefs and practices and his daily conduct: or to state it better, be- tween his character+and the Christian's Model. Christ. The es- sence of the Christian program for life is found in the command- ment to love--God and neighbor. By word and example Our Lord repeated this message throughout his life. Our service of God consists in the practice of charity. Without this love in our hearts, all our actions, even the most sublime, are deprived of Christian meaning, UNFORTUNATELY, SOME PEOPLE fail to realize that Christianity demands the complete reform of the inward man-- of our minds and hearts. Like the Pharisees of Our Lord's days, they regard religion as a set of external rites and practices. If one fulfills there, he's in! There is no carryover from their beliefs to their daily conduct because there has been no change in their hearts. When speaking of them Jesus used the frighten- ing term whitened sepulchres--they are externally proper but filled with death within. ALTHOUGH I REALIZE THAT THERE ARE two sides to every story, the detailed account in your letter describes a type well known to pastors and marriage counselors. Such men us- ually try to put on a good front in public. At home they make no THE OBSERVER ITS RAFAEL VS. THE CARDINAL---Richard Cardinal Cushing. Archbishop of Boston. accepted the challen.e, ~ of Rafael Melendez. 10, to an Indian wrestling match when he visited the new Spanish-speaking center in Boston. Cardinal Cushing. who had a slight edge in age and weight, called the match a draw. The new center was opened by the archdiocese to train youths for trades and help them learn English. 1// FRIDAY: FEBRUARY 24, 1961 attempt to control the passions. Manifestations of affection and kindness are met with suspicion or scorn. Far from giving any encouragement to wife or children, they are quick to criticize success and crush any signs of enthusiasm. They have no respect for the feelings of others, even of their small children. They are petty bullies, obviously deriving satlsfaction from seeing the weak suffer. YET THEY LIKE TO POSE AS CHRISTIANS. Besides in- sisting on how hard they have to work to support the family, they usually point out that women will try to dominate a man +if he doesn't keep them in their place and childrenwill grow up to be no good if parents are easy on them. In reality, there is no genuine love in their hearts. One sometimes wonders whether their refusal to practice self-control has not destroyed their Very capacity to lo,>e. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Since you have consulted your pastor and he has been unable to effect any change, this approach seems futile. Should you obtain a separation? Some would counsel this step, but with six young children you would have to make sure that you could find sufficient means of support. I suggest you consider separation a last resort, that is, only if the situation threatened to undermine your health or emotional balance. ALTHOUGH IT MAY PROVE DIFFICULT at this late stage, I feel you should make a definite attempt to stand up to your husband. You appear to have been far too submissive to deal adequately with such a bully. Tell him what you think of his actions and make it clear thai you intend to defend the children from his mean criticisms and unjust demands. As a wife and mother, this is'your right and obligation. IN ORDER TO TAKE AN EFFECTIVE STAND. you will have to adjust your own attitudes and strengthen your con- victions in the justice of your cause. If you fold up at his first sarcastic remark, you will accomplish nothing. You can't af- ford to be too easily hurt or driven to tears. And don't plead with him--tell bim. It will take more than one scene to make progress, but if you make it clear that you moan business. you may be effective. REMEMBER THE STAKES ARE HIGH. Your children have no one to defend them but you. Since your task will prove dif- ficult, the thought may come. isn't it better to give m and avoid quarreling? I would answer that there are concessions or com- promises which, because of their harmful consequences, one cannot afford to make. If the present situation continues un- changed, devon separation may prove less harmful lor all con- cerned. PRAY FOR COURAGE, AND RELYING ON the grace of the sacrament you received at marriage, take a firm Christian stand in defense of yourself and your children. You might, also refPect that if you continue to give in. your husband will remain unchanged, and there are no bullies in heaven. (Father Thomas is unable to a~swer personal letters'.) i M d.y, Feh, WBBM, Channel 2, Chicago $:00 Mornin~ Movie Time "Double |11:30 The Late Show "Dr. GilIesptl'l | Saturday, Feb. 2S I Dynamite" h-II I Criminal Case" Adl / 1:00 Picture for a Saturday Afternoon I 4:00 Early Show "Mr. Lucky" A-II I Friday, March 3 / "Hills of Home" A-I 110:15 Late Show "Crack Up" A-II [)2:~0 The Late Show "Saratoga" A-I / 4 30 The Early Show "'Niqht Has a [ Tuesday, Feb. 2I V P ~" " / Thousand Eyes" A-If,&:00 Morning Movie Time "On OangerousJ l~ KaY, Channel 2+, Madison |10:00 The Best of CBS "Death of e Sales-t Ground" A-It . / Saturday, Fib. 25 / man" A-II ~ 4:00 Early Show "Annie Oakley" A-I I 3:00 Western Playhouse "Kid From n Sunday, Feb. ~& ]10;15 Late Show "From This Day I Texas" A-/I /12:00 Picture for a Sunday AHernoon I Forward" A-II |10:00 Fanfare "Back from Eternity" l "Sa or Takes A Wite" B I Wednesday, March I I DO Fenfar~u'ndmy' Fib. 26 , /10:15 The Late Show "if I Were King" [8:00 Morning Movie Time "'Las Yogas : ack from Eternity' A-tl ] TAhoeA-, ] Shakedown" B " ,uesn,' Pen Mend,y, Feb. , 12: 0 Le Late Show ".omecom+ng" ,:00 Ear,y Show "Ambassad+r's 10: 0 E C.RI:TOP *, - Daughter" A-II Y, MondaY, Feb. 27 ] 10:1S Late Show "The Malta Story" A-I 4:30 The Earl'/ Show "Rhythm or the Thursday, March 2 River" A-I S:00 Morning Movie Time "'Embrace- 10:15 The Late Show "Adventures of able You" A-II Tartu" 'A-il ,4:00 Early Show "Dawn Patrol"' A-I t2:30 The Late, Late Show "Daughter of 10;15 Late Show "The Bi~, .Knife" B Shanghai" A-II Friday. March 3 Tuesday, Feb. 2l. . ]g:00 Morning Movie Time "Kisses for The Early Show "I Met M~/ Love Breakfast" B Again" J,-ll 4:00 Early Show "Key Largo" A-ll The Late Show "Home in Indiana" 10:15 Late Show "Adventure" B 4:30 !0:15 12:30 4:30 10:15 12:30 4:30 10:15 12:30 4:30 10:15 12:30 A-II The Late, Late Show "Caught" B Wednesday, March 1 The Early Show "Fin~ers At the Window" A-1 The Late Show "Moon Over Mie- mi" B The Late, Late Show "Rulers of the Sea" A-1 ~Thursday, March "l The EarTy Show "French Without Tears" A-II The Late Show "Take A Letter Darling" A-II The Late, Late Show "Johnny Eager" A-II Friday, March 3 The Early Show "Nob Hill" A-I The Late Show "Rlazeof NOOn" A-I The Late, Late Show "The Story of AleXander Graham Bell" A-II WISC, Channel 3, Madison Saturday, Feb. 2S 10:30 Theater Three "Caotein Fury" A-I Sunday, Feb. 26 10:00 THE CHRISTOPHERS 12:30 KNOW THE TRUTH 10:35 "The Bank Dick" All Tuesday, Feb. 21 10:30 Theater Three "Accused of Murder" A-II Wednesday, March 1 10:30 Theater Three "Atomic Kid" A-I Thursdayr March 2 10:30 Theater Three "Hideout",' A-II . Friday, March 3 10:30 Theater Throe "Canyon Passage'" A-ll WNBQ, Channel 5, Chicago Saturday, Feb. 25 2:00 Channel 5 Playhouse "The Heat's On'f B - . 10:15 Movie 5 "Sudden Fear" k-II Suoday Feb. 26 10:15Movie 5 "The Last Bridge" A-II Monday, Feb. 17 4:00 Movie 5 "The Malta Story" A-I Tuesday, Feb. 2l 4:00 Movie 5 "Patterns" A- USUMBUt2A. Ruanda-Urundi four parishes. This aHack was or of the Legion of Mary, in 4:00 MovieWednesdaY5"Sword. ofMarch I Venus" A-II --A Catholic missionary priestttrurned back by Congolese troops Bukavu t - Friday, M!reh ~. was killed and his body muti-tbut two priests were severelyI q~+~ ; t ,~ /4: Movie S "Stranger on Horseback" A-I + ~, ~(~IlldLIL: ~JUI Lilt: k~UII~U} ]ated in Bukavu, capital of thetbeaten. I --""" . : ~ " - arrests and beatings of literate Congo's terror ridden Kivu prov- Much of the violence sprang,1 ' ~ ,1 WITI, Channel fi, MUwankee anarchy. Troops Congolese. mere 2:00 Early Show "The Narrow Margin" inca. Ifrom of/ influential ~ Saturday, Feb. 25 ' Soldiers and young hoodlumslthe' rebel army which took overlJ It was also reported that Arch-| 9:30 A-IILate Show "l Remember Mama" of the procommunist regime in Kivu province in December havelbishonl Nicolas Kinsch of Stan- A-I , . -- ' 12:00 Late, Late Show "The Wolf Man" northeast Congo fractured theinot been pad regularly. Thellevville had celebrated a Reoui- A-H skull of Father Rene De Vos, blockade imposed on the eastern em Mass in a football stadium Suoday, Feb. 26 W.F then cut off his ears and!Congo by Maj. Gen. Joseph Mo- there /or former ~,rem er Pa 11:30 SundaYoawo, A-Hgh wtime "Deadline at finally beheaded him. tbutu's army in the west has trice Lumumba l~r Gizenoa 11:00 A-ICate Show "Parachute Battalion" The murder (Feb. 16) of the prevented Oriental and Kivu and Gem Victor Lundula, head 46 year old White Father waslProvinces from selling their pro- of Gizenga's army. were among Cana Conference only one chapter in a tale ol,duce and obtaining [oDd supplies. 25,000 persons at the ceremony terror brought to this Belgian This hasundermined disei-which proceeded without inci- CARPENTERSVILLE --. A trust territory by refugees ~rom pline among the rebel troops dent. Cana conference for all married adjacent Kivu province, and thus helps explain appar- couples of St. Monica parish will be held in the new parish hall The orgy of violence in Kivu[ently conflicting reports t h a t was inspired by a hate-religion some rebel troops were attack- campaign whipped up by its ing convents while other rebel pro-Red governor, Anicet Kash- troops were guarding convents amue8, who has since been re- against attack. There were even moved by the parent govern- reports that Gizenga's troops in ment of Antoine Gizenga in Or- Bukavu and Stanleyviile, capital iental province, of Oriental province, had lined Other Outrages up with Maj. Gen. Mobutu. Other outrages besides thai Relentless Persecutions murder of the Belgianprlestl The wave of violence in Kivu included: was climax of a groundswell of --Serious wounding of anoth- relentless persecutions. These er unidentified White Father. included: --Burning of the parish ol St.] --Continued violent diatribes Francis Xavier. against the Church over the ra- --Attacks on convents of White{diD and at public meetings by Sisters and Little Sisters of de- Kashamura and his lieutenants. sus by bands of Lumumbist --Expulsion of Sister Alice o'f youths. The nuns were molested the White Sisters and Lind Cop- but eventually rescued by Con-lpens, a lay missioner from Bel-, golese soldiers and placed underIgium. United Nations protection. I --Arrest and expulsion of Fath- --An attack by a mob on theler Herman Hoste. W.F relief- office of Archbishop Louis Van ous superior of all 180 members Steene. W.F of Bukavu. Arch- of the White Fathers community bishop Van Steene heard ot thelin Kivu. impending attack and slippedl --Arrest and expulsion of Fath- away beforehand, l er Georges Defo,ur, W.F found. --Arrests of priests, nuns and/or and leader of a 50,000-strong lay missionaries, youth movement known as the ---An attack on the mission of Xaveri. and Father Charles St. Theresa. one of Bukavu's Lauwers W.F spiritual direct. Eastern Liturgy MADRID (NC)--Mass in the Byzantine Rite is offered daily in a newly opened chapel here. The chapel is connected with the Eastern Church Affairs In- stitute conducted by the Jesuits in Madrid. Sunday, Feb. 26. from 7 to 10:30 p.m. The conference will be con- ducted by the Rev. William I. Joffe. assistant managing edi- tor ot the diocesan newspaper, THE OBSERVER. Reservations may be made with the McQuinns at HA fi-3000. AND PLUMBING AND 1037 THIRD ST. INC. HEATING CONTRACTORS DIXON, ILL. MURPHY'S MARKET Serve Yourself and Save ,I Your Friendly independent Grocer. II FINEST IN MEATS 10:25 The Late Show "Th rty Becandl~ Over Tokyo" A-II WTMV, Channel 33, Madisom Sunday, Feb. 26 5:00 BISHOP SHEEN. WTVO, Cl=annel 39, Rockford saturday, Fib. ~6 I0:00 Big Movie Sunday, Feb. 16 10:30 Feature Theater "'Ta~o Roots" A-II We Give S&H Green Stamps Brinton at Bredshaw Dixon, IlL "Insurance Exclusively" @ @ DIXON NATIONAL BANK BUILDING SUNDAY 6:30 P,M.: WITZLEB Plumbing & Heating JAMES GARNER JACK KELLY Disposals a Water Softeners Dehumidifiers Water Heaters far (Gas-Oil-Electric) PHONE: AT 2-0441 111 S. Hennenin Dixon, Illinois MANHATTAN "'For Your Uptown Dining" In Air-Conditioned Comfort Open 6:30 A.M. -- 1 A.M. Daily tExcept Monday) 115 Galena Dixon AT 3-8041 Funeral Home 24 Hour Service Ambulance MRS. ELIZABETH JONES LEO A. MILES PATRICK JONES PHONE 3-1211 Gulf Service PETROLEUM PRODUCTS n Tune.Up ~axing Lubrication Washing PHONE AT 3-8771 223 North Galena Ave. DIXON, ILLINOIS CampbellJktorx Parts and Service Headquarters for Packard Studebaker Mercedes-Benz Dixon, III. Phone AT 3-9451 WATCHES--DIAMONDS Complete Seleetion Of Religious Goeds :: W Men's Wear z 208 . FIRST DIXON, ILLINOIS Fall Cotton Dresses To Please You .~ Matched Sweaters i:i & Skirts i:! J E: R. }::O Matched Slack Sets i DnxoN "ILI'INOI= Dixon Illinois ( -- Est. 1890 --) REALTORS FARM LOANS HOME LOANS PHONE: AT 3.101I ]st at Peoria In Dixon DOUG'S 3 DEUCES Package Store Cocktail Lounge DOUG CURRAN Proprietor 222 W. First St Dixon, Illinais The Dotvntown Dixon Illinois Finest Motor Hotel a TV In All Guest R ms a Children FREE BU~'FET LUNCHES DAILY in THE TRAIL ROOM (Monday thru Friday) DINNER NIGHTLY in THE 1837 ROOM (Food 5or*ice Till lO P.M,/ 2iS S, Galena Ph. AT. 3-1G41 CONVENIENT CREDIT TERMS! 4 FLOORS OF FURNITURE, BEDDING AND CARPET BARGAINS FURNITURE' and FLOOR COVERINGS 84-86 GALENA DIXON PHONE AT 4-0441 , i,T ,r], Dixon's 0nly Complete Laundry ServiLe --- Per/ection Guaranteed-- 319 W. 1st St.FREE Delivery AT 4-0991 , , Tops In Motoring. Pleasure SEE THEM AT HARRISON Chevrolet . Corvair . Cadillac Peoria at Everett Dixon, Illinois W~C~ Channel ~; Davenport Saturday, Feb. t5 10;50 Premiere Performance "Johnny Eager" A-II Sunday, Feb. ~6 11:15 Premiere Performance "Tho Bribe" A-11 Monday, Feb. ~7 12;10 Movie Matinee "Fair Wind ta Java" A-II Tuesday, Feb. 21 12:10 Movie Matinee "Night ef 1he Hunter" B Wednesday, March T 12:10 Movio Matinee "Trouble in the Glen" A-I Thursday, Mlrch 2 12:10 MoYie Matinee "HeWs Half Acre" Friday, March 3 12:10 Movie Matinee "Maverick Queen" A: WISN, Channel 12, Milwaukee Saturday, Fob. 25 3:00 20th Century Theater "'Cowboy Quarterback" A-I 11;15 Tho Big Movie "You Can't Cheat an HOnest Man" A-I Sunday, Feb, 16. 10:30 KNOW THE TRUTH 10:45 THE CHRISTOPHERS 1:30 DIRECTIONS "61 Monday, Feb. 27 10:45 The Big Movie "1 Am A Camera" C Tuesday, Feb. 21 10:45 The eig Movie "The Unfaithful" B: Wednesday. March I I 10:45 "Hold That Ghost" A-I Tbur~lay, Maroh 2 I 10:45 The Big Movie "The Male Arfimal" A-If Friday, March 3 I0:45 The Big Movie "Sergeant York" A- WREX, Channel 13, Rockford Saturday, Feb. 25 ll:15 Encore Theatre "Wake Island" A-I 12:50 The Late Show "South of Tahiti" A-If Sunday. Feb, 26 10:15 SACRED HEART TIME 11:30 The Late ShowT' Shop Around the Corner" Ad Tuesday, Feb. 21: 11:30 ThO Late Show "Mad /~artindaies" A-I ELGIN--Miss Patricia Ann Conro at~l John J. McCardle in St. Mary church~ Feb. 4. FREEPORT--Miss Patri, cia Ann Oster- bergerend Kenneth W. Eggemeier in St. Joseph church, Feh. 11. FREEPORT--Miss Charlotte M. Versly- non and Edward L. MeTester in St.+Mary church, Feb. ~ ALENA--Miss:Margaret S. Evert ond Joseph V. Girot i~ St. Mary church, Fob. 1~. -ROCKFORD--Miss JoAnn Sparacine dnd Gerald A Linenfelser in St. Anthony church, Feb. 11. IHelp Rehtgees WASHINGTON--(NC) Arch- bishop Patrick A. O'Boyle of Washington has announced for- mation in the nation', capital of a Catholic comm/ttec to aid Cuban refugees. The committee w ill ~eek housing and job opportunities t or the Cubans. estimated m total about 300 bare. Sey You Sew It in THE OBSERVER ~hese Distributors in our Diocese recommend "Little Joe" New 7 oz. ~attla First in the Thirst P~radR The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famou= Schlitz for All OeeBsion~ Buchmann-Hall Beverage Co. 16 ! 1 SeminEr,/$t~oet---Rockford Hartman -Beverage Co. 219 E. Exchanle m Froepert Lennon Beverage Co. McHensy Vele Hal 00 Gotena Ave. -- Dix,s Vitale, Inc. 260 S. Hilllllnd Ave. -- Aufofdr I Patronize Our Advertisers + ~.;+ '~-~-~i~::~i~ Mount College Clinton. Iowa CATHOLIC COLLEGE FOR WOMEN Progre,sive new concepts in two-year college planning Highly,gesred foundation program for thc degree seeker Well.rounded program for the two-ye=r student Liberal Arts Home and Family Ruslness Secretarial Teacher Preparation Medical Secretarial Health Services ~:t Cuisine That Creates Conversaaon" SIMON N-$' Junction 62 and 31, Algonquin Reservations Recommended PHONE OLIYER 8.7111 Feefuring $1.75 Luncheon 0